How Lucky We Are by Meiko

One day we'll get outta this [old] apartment
One day is all it takes for things to turn around now
All I know is I got you and you got me, babe

And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

One day we'll get in the car and drive anywhere we wanna go
And then we'll stay in a five star, mini-bar, luxury hotel room
Cuz all I know is I got you and you got me, babe

And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, oh oh oh
How lucky we are, are, are...

One day we'll turn on the tv and we won't see nothing 'bout war
And when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans
And I'll keep saying how lucky we are

How lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are
Oh how lucky, how lucky, how lucky we are

Sadness...

Well, our dreams of owning a house have been put on hold for now, like 4 years on hold. Toby's grandparents and parents hated the house, even after it got a great insperction review and after our friend Steve told them it was a good first buy for us, so they backed out. I understand some of their reasons, but I do not understand the barbaric way in which they went about it. I will have trouble trusting them in the future, but I guess it is a lesson learned.

Wordy Posts... An Apology...

If anyone out there reads this blog and thinks, "Man, that girl talks too much!" I beg of you to please remember that I began this blog thinking no one in particular would read it... I keep writing in it mainly to help remember some of the things that have happened or just some of my random, fleeting, ADD thoughts... If you read it, thanks a bunch, I like hearing from people :) But if you don't, well, that's okay too :)...

The House...

...of my dreams? Well, it is not quite there, but it is a house, a big, affordable house, in the neighborhood we want to live in, and it is almost ours... Dreamy enough for me :)... We saw it last Saturday, put our bid on it on Labor Day (last Monday) and the bid was submitted and accepted by the next day. After the seller (bank) made their addendum and we signed it, the bank accepted our bid!!! We had the inspection today to make sure the pest and roof damage was not over the amount we stated in our Conditions and it was all good! So all we are waiting on now is for the lender to approve an FHA loan on the house (our credit is pre-approved for about 20k more than our bid was for but I guess the house has to be too) and we will be good to go! Our close date is set for October 1st if all goes to plan! I am really excited! It is 4 bed 2 bath on a corner lot (one side of the back yard on kind of a busy street but the front of the house is on the side street) it is 1,378 sq ft of fixer upper, but it could be ours in less than a month. Toby and Josh already have big plans for building a cinderblock wall along the main street side as a DIY project (I must admit the thought scares me a bit). My main goal is to get the kitchen and bathrooms up to par and then put in flooring, pergo or carpet, I'm not sure... Since we are only putting 3% down (when we were expecting to have to put 10% down and therefore have that much ready) we ar going to use the rest of the money to fix it up and pick up some (nice) second hand appliances. There are many people who are selling their barely used stuff (like the newer models that we like) for less than half of what they bought them for less than a year ago. We have already had someone offer us a never used energy star oven and microwave for $200, but since they are the wall mounted kind I would have to redo the kitchen when I want to put them in (the cabnits are falling down, so if we have the money, that will be the first room to get fixed anyways). The roof is in much better shape than we thought, it only needs 1 spot patched and then we have to get a certification to get the FHA loan. Also the front bathroom needs a new sink and the back need a new shower drop in liner. We will probably not got crazy on these two things, just the basics so they are useable. Since our married friends Josh and Kelly will be renting from us for about a year, we will probably set aside some of that money to redo all the siding on the outside of the house so it doesn't look any more patched up than it already does (dry rot, everybody's got it), but that will be a project for next year. For now all we need to do is seal up the windows with caulk so that moisture does not get inside. I'm really excited (in case you didn't notice)! We are putting this in God's hands (even though our imaginations already have us living in this house)... Wehouses fall through before our loan was pre-approved, so we know what it is to get a little disappointed, however this is the furthest we have gone in the process, so we are praying everything else goes well... Soon enough we could all be neighbors!

Homeschooling?

I have been told that I have the gift of teaching, but I have also been told that my ADD may be too great to actually be a conventional teacher. Mind you, I have been an education major for almost 4 years now (I am nowhere near getting my BA or credentials though). I f I am to ADD to teach in a public classroom, would I be able, with the help of other homeschooling parents, to home school my own children? I plan on completing my degree, not sure if I will go through the credentialing process, but I will have the general knowledge needed to teach elementary aged students. I can't really think of a career in which I could use a general education degree, but I know that I want to obtain my BA that I have been working towards for over 6 years now. I have all these ideas about how I would teach unconventionally and still have my students meet grade level standards (although the CA state "standards" are not even at grade level these days, the high school exit exam for example is based on something like 7th grade level knowledge). One example of unconventional learning would be to set up a classroom government when teaching 5th grade history (of course you would need a good sized class), I attempted to student lead this in my 5th grade classroom (surprisingly my teacher allowed me to), but because of my disorganization (come on I was only a 5th grader) and lack of time (we only had an hour per day in this class) it did not get the point across successfully. Another would be to use the game Civilization as a teaching tool for teaching World Civ (I am actually working on a lesson plan for implementing this on the college level for my World Civ instructor this semester). I really like the idea of using the World Wide Web as a virtual assistant in the "classroom" - kids spend 44 hours a week doing "media multi-tasking" (surfing the web, watching tv, playing video games, and listening to music) so they are on it anyway, might as well give them something fun and purposeful to do with it. My generation was one of the first to grow up with home computers (our first was an old Mac, back when they were still reffered to as "Apples," that the school disctric let their teachers (like my mom) take home for the summer so they could learn how to use them. I think I was in 1st or 2nd grade. I remember the only thing it had on it was Print Shop Delux :). My neighbor, who had a PC, made DOS based catsle RPGs. The first computer games I played were Oregon Trail and SimAnt. Both were educational at heart. In Jr. High, the World Wide Web came into our home (after much pleading with my parents). I was very into IMing. While it was a bit of a distraction, I think my generation has benifited from having such an instant link to people and information, but it has also harmed us. Cyber crime is prevolent, which was not really something that our parents worried about when they first heard the delightful sounds of "You got mail" chiming from our computers every few minutes, at the time their biggest concern was that we were tying up the only phone line. However, many groups have been devoted to keeping children safe on the web today and keeping it for what it is intended for, gaining knowledge and staying in touch. Besides, as an adult who grew up as the Internet did, I know what dangers lie lurking in cyberspace and I am better equipped to keep my kids away from them then my parents were when I was learning how to use the computer at a much faster rate then they were (as kids often do). As I get older and technology advances, I know I will soon be in the place my parents were with new wonders and dangers out there waiting for my kids. Hopefully I will be able to keep up with everything. Wow, I really got off on a tangent there. I guess the main point I was trying to get across is that I am not sure where my future will take me, but I really feel like teaching is in it somewhere, no matter if it is conventional or not. I'd like to hear from you homeschooling parents out there. How much of a role does the net play or will it eventually play in your homeschool program?

New Job, ADD (What's new?), and WoW overload...

So I ended up quitting my job at Bath and Body Works the day after I posted about my tiff with the sales lead... She and I probably could have resolved things but it was the Manager's lack of mediation that really got to me... I never started working with Grace, there was a hiring mix up and they over hired, since I forgot to follow up (surprise surprise) I missed out... I ended up with a job that Grace's dad set me up with doing "In Home Supportive Services" for a 37 year old lady named Mel with Systemic Lupus among other chronic conditions... It works well for me since the schedule is so flexible, I was only supposed to have like 10-15 hours a week and I was going to try to pick up a Respite job for one of the families at my church (I have experience working with kids with Autism and other special needs, so it is nice to be able to lend a hand where I can, but not something I can do full time anymore), but the week I started the other girl who was working for Mel dramatically quit... So now I work about 30 hours a week at all hours, which is okay, but now that school has begun I need help... The last set of classes that I was taking (when I started this blog in February) all got dropped because I got overwhelmed... I didn't transfer and got myself on Academic Probation... I had to go to a counselor and make an Ed-Plan that re-evaluated my goals... If all goes well, I will complete the 2 classes I signed up for this semester and complete 2 next semester and get my AA out of the way... I also need to get my FAFSA done in time for next year... Maybe if I figure out what I really want to do (Mike, my ADD mentor, told me I am too ADD to teach without taking meds so I have kind of lost some hope for that prospect) I will transfer next fall... At this point I am just discouraged and don't really care much about school... Maybe Mel is right, maybe I need to start taking meds again (no matter how off they make me feel) so I can get this stuff done... I don't even know what it is I want to do anymore... I really want to be a mom and a good wife... That is my ultimate goal right now and all I seem to care about... However, I can't seem to see the reality in that if I can't get my act together... At the moment I have a pile of dishes 2 WEEKS old that I am having trouble facing (they are the worse kind too - covered in nasty oily frosting from my cake decorating class that I loved but nearly gave up on as well because it was so time consuming) and clean laundry piled on the couch waiting to be put away, along with all sorts of other clutter that is keeping me from having a clean organized house... Everytime my house (which is typically a reflection of the way I feel inside at the time) gets like this, I retreat into World of Warcraft or a TV series or work and avoid it until Toby (or Mr. Loo - I have decided to give up the nicknames) freaks out and goes into ubercleaning mode till he is exauhsted and in a bad mood (have I mentioned he is on his feet 40 hours a week at work?)... Toby and I have been playing a lot (and I mean a lot) of WoW lately... And to make it worse, we play at our friend Jerrod's house, which means we are never home... We have gone straight over to Jerrod's after work/school for the last 3 or 4 days in a row, not getting home until midnight or later and all we do is play WoW... Our other newly-wed friends Josh and Kelly have been hanging out at Jer's playing WoW everynight too, but at least they chose to spend time together at home tonight (they logged in aroud 9pm though)... I feel like thing are unraveling... The house hunt is slow going (even though we are now pre-approved)... We really need to find one soon if we want to be able to rent a room to Josh and Kelly once their lease is up in October... I also feel like we are making a lot of plans without talking to God about them first... That is probably why things aren't going super well... We are going to a Family Life confrence in November (my mom said it saved her marraige before she and my dad even knew there was a problem) and I am hoping to do a short study from FamilyLife before the confrence with the 3 other newly wed couples in our church and any other married couples who would like to join us... It would help us a lot to get back in tune with our Father!

Holodeck I

So my dear nerdy hubby has gotten me into watching Star Trek: Voyager - mind you, this is something I have fought against tooth and nail since high school, it's a new low, right down there with playing the WoW TCG, even WoW itself... But since I have been assimilated into the Nerd Collective, I have begun to accept and even embrace this intricate world of Sci-Fi/Fantasy... When I was coming out of anesteseia after my appendectomy I imagined I was being held captive by the Kazon and being innterogated, but really it was just the recovery room nurses in their brown scrubs and my mother-in-law (an off duty nurse from that same ward) telling me to breathe every couple of seconds... Just now as I lay restless in bed next to my ailing hubby (migraine) I began to imagine what kinds of Holodeck programs I would enjoy if I were stuck on Voyager... I concluded that along with a great resort program (Maui maybe?) I would love to have HoloMusicals! Les Miserables, Phantom, Moulin Rouge (okay I know it's a movie, but it has music and it is my all time fav), Across the Universe, Jekyll and Hyde... My list could go on and on... I mean really, why haven't we come up with something like that, where someone could be the star of their own virtual musical or movie??? Of course there would be the issue of copywrites and such in the here and now, but in the future? Who knows? Okay nerd rant over...

Somethings Missing...

On Thursday I had a bad day... A really bad day... I was supposed to be planning and packing for 2 weeks away from home, one week visiting the fam in SoCal with Mr.Loo (who finally has more than 3 consecutive days off to go down) and the next week at the camp my brother is working at (where Mr. Loo and I actually met) as a high school camp counselor... I got up way too late, started washing dishes (the pile had completely overtaken my kitchen), managed to break both of my favorite crystal toasting glasses that Mr. Loo and I had used on our 1 year anniversary (which was on the 15th), could not find the broom to save my life, blocked off the kitchen so the cats could not get in, and left the apartment in a frustrated upheaval... I went to Ross to get a pair of jeans and some other colder weather clothing for camp, found a few good deals, but got talked out of them by my hubby who conveniently called on his lunchbreak to tell me we just have enough extra cash for the gas to get down and to eat so not to buy anything until he gets paid by direct deposit on Thursday... Bah... Then I headed to Target (ignoring the warning I got)... I have this habit at Target which is almost therapeutic, I go in without grabbing a basket (because I am "just looking"), hit the dollar section, go back and grab a hand basket, fill it up in said section, then proceed with a far too heavy hand basket through the rest of the store just so I can have the pleasure of carrying my "wants" around with me, when I finally get to what I need (that day it was a small gift for my little cousin who I would be seeing before payday and toothbrush covers for traveling), I realize that I do not have enough room in my basket and go put my "wants" back (but on those days when I have no willpower, I just go get a bigger basket), this time I only ended up with what I could've carried in my two hands in the first place... I was starting to feel nauseous and I thought it was because it was hot, I had a migraine coming on and because I hadn't eaten anything that day... I went to my fav little cafe and had half sandwich half salad and lactose free, lowfat, oreo fro-yo (a guilty pleasure that won't kill me)... I ate most of it but I couldn't finish my fro-yo... I went home and felt so dizzy that I just plopped down on the bean bag chair of death (the one thing that I hate that the hubby refuses to part with - it spends most of it's life taking up half of his closet but when my parents came up for the 4th of July he pulled it out because there was no place else for him to sit, the problem with that thing is that once it comes out it is almost impossible for me to get him to put it away) and passed out... Mr. Loo came home from work at 6pm all jazzed to go see The Dark Knight (he and his best friend are obsessed, and that is being poliet) but I did not feel like going right at that moment (his buddy had been there since 4pm for a midnight showing) so I stayed home while he went to "moviegate" (you get the picture)... When he called at quarter to 10 I told him I didn't know if I was up to going and he sounded like someone had just shot his dog in front of him... So being a good supportive wife, I musterd up the last ounces of my strength and drove to the theater... I slouched in the theater seats watching Heath Leadger's final big screen performance, grimicing as the person next to me jumped at every bang and tried not to puke by covering my head during handheld camera scenes... At one point I felt so sick and bloated that I covered myself with a jacket and unbuttoned my jeans... By the end of the film I thought I was going to explode, Mr. Loo was so into the movie that he didn't notice how much pain I was in... I wouldn't let him stay to see if there were any post movie trailers (another fav pastime of theirs) and rushed out of the theater into the bathroom, but I couldn't go... I came out crying and Mr. Loo asked me to rate my pain from 1 to 10 (his mom is a nnurse, it is common vocab in his family) I told him it was an 8 and he said that was to high and took me to the ER... I hate hospitals, really, I hate them... But something has to be said for our timing... I did not have to wait too long before they took me back and gave me some pain meds (the IV hurt as much as my stomach pain)... The nurse started running down a list of questions and had me take a pregnancy test, which filled my mind with possible problems (endoscopic or fallopian pregnancy, bladder problems, ovaries malfunctioning) but nowhere on that list was anything about my appendix... I have never taken anatomy and no one in my family has had an appendectomy (that I can think of) so I had no basis of knowledge on the subject (that and I would not let Mr. Loo call his mom who had just gotten off shift and left the hospital, and I didn't want to get her all worked up when we didn't know what was wrong yet)... The nurse was nice, and checked on me a lot, I was drugged though so I couldn't tell how long I was waiting... The doctor finally came and Mr. Loo realized it was the doctor who misdiagnosed a raging throat infection that he had had three years prior (he did not tell me until later thankfully) the doc ordered tests (bloodwork, X-Rays, CAT scans) and would have misdiagnosed me as just being "blocked up" if he hadn't had a radiologist read the CAT scan, my appendix was swollen around my bowel and everything was stuck inside my stomach... I waited in the ER for an OR to open up... 11 hours later I was taken up to the OR wing (where I laid in the hallway on the gurney for another 45 mins) luckily the OR is right next to where my mom-in-law works (in the recovery room) and they let her come up with me to keep me company... I had to pee (cuz they were loading me up with fluids and antibiotics) and so she wheeled me into the recovery room bathroom... How a family member got away with all that I have no idea, I guess I am just lucky lol... I don't even remember what happened next because I think they put me out in the hallway... I woke up (after a delusion of being trapped by the Kazon Nisstrem - man have I ever become a hard core nerd) in the recovery room with mom-in-law reminding me to breathe and all her nurse friends checking on me... They wheeled me to the building my father in law was in just last week and a bunch of people came to visit me... I was surprised they let eveyone in... I was sad when they booted them out though, I didn't want to be there alone... My roommate was this funny lil lady that reminded me of my Great Aunt Rae because of her spark and spirit... She said the lady who had been in the room the previous two days had snored and kept the TV on even when she was sleeping... I guess mom-in-law had turned off the TV when I was taken in because I remember Sponge Bob being there and then he was gone... The lady (whose name I later found was Berneice) was kinda sassy and told the nurse I didn't need my light on... The guy was like "well that's her choice, isn't it?" I told him it was fine and I could use the rest... All night I had to keep bugging the nurses to unstrap me from my leg massaging things at the end of my bed so I could use the restroom... In the morning I was up at 6am and so was Bernice... I had a nice long talk with her and told her it was our job to tell the nurses if we needed something... She had purposfully pulled out her IV line during the night because it was making her have to go so often... So I made it my duty to talk her into letting them put one back in so she could go home asap... She was so spunky and funny once she had some sleep... We even got a nurse to bring her some coffee (contraband in the wing we were in apparently)... I coundn't believe that she was 91 years old! I made sure to do everything the nurses told me to do so I could go home... I walked 4 times before the doctor came to see me and they had moved me up to eating saltines so I was eating "solids"... I was not hungry, but I ate 3/4 of my french toast and ate most of the apple sauce for breakfast... They let me go home about 10 am... Berniece was bummed when I left but I think her doctor was coming to see her soon... We drove home, but my tummy still felt bloated... I decided to avoid the stairs to my apartment and had Mr. Loo take me to his Nana's house instead... It took me like 20 hours to poop! Once I did though I felt much much better... I spent the rest of the day there and finally came back to our apartment... I need some patience though because the apartment is too small for me to walk around it... Hopefully we can still go to SoCal tomorrow (doctor said I can travel, but said no to camp)... I am really bummed about not being there for the girls or getting to see my brother, but it could have happened while I was there, I guess I better just count my blessings...

Edit: Also found I am allergic to Vicoden... Fun...

Eww... Icky Meds...

I finally went to the doctors because my migraines have gotten ridiculous and she gave me Nortriptyline and Maxolt... The Maxolt works fine, but the Nortriptyline is apparently affecting me adversely... I am supposed to take it daily and increase the dose weekly... This week I have just taken the first dose and I have had mood swings since the moment I began taking it... I have been really thirsty and super hungry... I've felt weak and tired when I should be feeling my best because I have been eating better and drinking a ridiculous amount of water and walking almost every day outside for like 2 hours... I got into it with one of my sales leads yesterday and I don't think we would have had an issue at all if I wasn't so spacy and moody... I didn't go in today because I am waiting for my doctor to call me back and tell me to come in or not... I am feeling really off and I don't really want to keep working at a job that makes me feel like I am not worth what I am... I do, however need to keep this job while we work on buying a house... Not the best reason to stay at a job I am not happy in... I remember why I left to begin with... Hopefully if I stop taking the meds the headaches will stay at bay and I will get back to my normal peppy self... Plus my mom and dad are on their wy into town right now... That'll be good for me I think...

It's Hairspray!

On Saturday I went to the city to see Hairspray with Grace, her mother and sister-in-law and the girls from their church... It was fantastic! I must admit I liked the stage show way better than the movie! I can't help it, it is in my blood... The theater was beautiful and we actors were awesome! The best performers in my opinion were Little Inez, Link, and Motormouth... The others were fantastic, don't get me wrong, I just felt like these three stole the show whenever they opened their mouths to sing :)... Afterwards we walked 8 blocks to the Cheesecake Factory (they wanted to drive, but after paying $20 for each of our 3 cars to park near the theater I vetoed driving and offered people flip flops and flats that I had in my car so we could walk)... It was nice when we walked over after the matinee, but after a 2 hour wait for a table for 13 and poor service, we didn't leave until like 9... We got some very unnecessary attention walking back... But Grace's mother-in-law said, "They don't want to mess with me and my bolsa (purse), I could hurt someone with it!" I cracked up! It was a great day and I felt special getting to be there when Grace shared her special news with her in-laws and the other girls...

Househunting, Babybunting, Workwanting...

Mr. Loo and I have begun house hunting in the past couple of months... We have been outbid on 3 or 4 houses... I guess it is because we have not yet been preapproved... We are in the process, but I am missing some W-2's from '06 when I did not file taxes because I didn't make enough to bother... I have to find them in my massive amounts of paperwork unceremoniously "stored" (read: dumped) in boxes on my porch... I think my organizer needs to come pay me a visit... We have 2 bids in, on on a house with a dinky pool that needs refinishing, and one that is a house away from my best gal pal, Grace (I have given up on code names... They are dumb)... Speaking of which... Grace just spilled the news... She and her hubby of 10 months are expecting their first little one! They got married less then a month after we did and decided to start trying about a month after we did... and yet, they beat us to the punch... Lol... Not that it is any big competition (okay, yes it is... Mr.Loo and Grace's hubby compeate over everything, and so do Grace and I...) But we are so happy for them! Just gives us a reason to try somemore ;)... I also decided to apply for a second job since my first does not offer many hours (about 10 a week scheduled and opportunity for more with call in shifts where we have to basically assume we are scheduled unless the store has not made enough revenue for the day to afford us)... So I will be working with Grace but in a different department... I think I start sometime this week but I don't know if they have scheduled me yet... I have been getting migraines a lot more often, so I am not sure how this is going to work, but we shall see... I've decided to make this blog public esq since I haven't written anything too terrible in it... At present no one knows much about it... I like it when I know the people at least know about it and can read it if they want to...

He's There, The Phantom of the Opera

Just a quick post tonight... Went to see Phantom with two of my best gals and their guys... It was amazing! Loved the Phantom, Christine was okay, Meg could have been better, but who am I to judge, they put on a fantastic show! Went to dinner before and to dessert at this fab little dinner that only serves desserts... So much fun, I only wish all of our friends had gone, I felt bad talking about it when other people who hadn't responded to me quick enough when we were buying tickets were around... I loved every minute of tonight (well, except for the part where the girls had to take off the heels and run 6 blocks in 4 minutes to make curtain)... All in all a fantastic night...

A Lappy of My Very Own!

So Mr. Loo and I have been married for about 11 months now, and in those 11 months we have had a reoccurring battle over the use of his laptop... So yesterday he finally got me one of my own! Yay! Not the most romantic early anniversary present, but a quite thoughtful and useful one... It's a 14" HP and it has a built in web cam (so I can finally respond to my friend kito's video posts), it can play WoW (of most importance), and it is slim, shiney, and cute (also uber important, every thing must be kawaii)... I am hoping that this will also help me get organized a little better... On another tangent, I hired an organzation coach and she came and helped me get the hardest room in our apartment for me to clean, our bedroom, clean and uncluttered... It's very zen... but it took 3 hours and $150... I'd like her to come this week so we could keep moving, but after dropping the cash for my lappy yesterday I don't think we can for a bit... We put a bid on a house yesterday and we have to have the $ in da bank for the deposit... On another tangent, I am not sure this is the house for us, so I am officailly hoping that our bid is not chosen so we don't waste money on inspections just to pull out because of what we already know, the roof is in bad need of replacing and it will make getting an FHA loan impossible... Gay... Anyways, I love my laptop, I am trying to get organized, and I want a house that gives me butterflies, not one that I can barely remember.... WE shall see what happens...

The ADD Monster Will NOT Eat Me Alive...

So today Teh Bear (who btw is one of the most caring, yet brutally honest people I know) decided to point out that I am way too ADD to handle managing a house let alone having a house and a baby (not pregnant yet, but Mr.Loo and I have been trying, we have also begun the process of looking for and buying a house)... So I think I need an action plan here... I want to be a good wife, and I want to be a mom, so if those things are going to happen, I am going to have to get the ADD under control... I have been reading about stuff that has to do with managing ADD and I see so much that describes me, so many things I do that I thought were weird, but they are actually typical of ADDers... So now I am typical... Typically ADD... I embraced my ADD because it made me feel unique... Now I am just typical... Here are some of the random things that are not so random anymore...

"Many people with ADD make a habit of masking their poor planning skills behind the unexpected. In fact, for some, the unexpected comes as a great relief. It's not my fault I'm late now because there's a traffic accident up ahead. (Even though I would have been late anyway.)"

... "someone who avoids the task of decluttering or who appears to avoid it. They share characteristics with any of the previous categories. Procrastinators are not always lazy. They may never have learned from a role model how to be organized in the first place and have no idea where to begin And they might certainly be someone with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or a Learning Disability (LD). Figuring out where to begin, let alone understanding the steps needed to get a job done and complete it without getting distracted, or bored, can be truly challenging. Add to this their fear of "out of sight - out of mind" and there is a real potential for getting stuck with too much stuff."

..." Women are more likely to internalize - to blame themselves and to become depressed about their perceived shortcomings. Inattentive or impulsive girls often feel that "something" is wrong with them. Feelings of shame and guilt can layer themselves in to a young woman's personality as she grows up. When a woman is first diagnosed with AD/HD, she may feel relief and a temporary euphoria. She now has a name for her guilty secret. But a diagnosis does not change an ingrained personality style. After the diagnosis comes the real work. She must gain an in-depth understanding of how the AD/HD affects her own unique strengths and weaknesses."

I just want to do better... I have had my diagnosis sent up to my physician from the psychologist who diagnosed me... I contacted a local organization coach to try and get the house under control... I think I am also going to go back to a paper planner rather than my electronic planner I had on my Blackberry... I am working on it... We'll see how it goes...

Relay for Life 2008

On April 5th, 1,800 participants raised over $72,000 in the fight to find a cure and raise awareness for cancer. Our team of 9, The Rockstars, raised over $1,000 prior to the Relay and helped raise about another $1,000 during the day of the Relay with the events our captain and ACS committee member, Pinkie, was in charge of. We walked the track at UC Davis all day only taking a break for the Luminaria ceremony, which honored those who have survived their battle and memorialized those who did not. Thank you for your donations, prayers, and participation. Next year, we will set our bar higher and raise even more to find a cure!
~Lena Loo

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TV, A Buddy, and April Fools: A Ramble, Because I Really Really Need To...

There is nothing quite so soothing as watching TV... I love the mindless act... Mr. Loo hates it... I even love the simple cleansing act of purging my DV-R... TV is a whole new phenomena since the creation of TiVo and DV-R... I love it... I can sift through all the shows I like and leave the rest of the junk or shuffle through it, I can even fast forward through commercials! Whoever said that everything that could be invented had already been is stupid... It is theraputic in it's calming way... Mr. Loo and I have a new buddy in our lives, I shall call him Teh Bear (Teh because he's a game nerd like me and Mr. Loo and Bear because that part of what his mama calls him endearingly)... Teh Bear is the first guy friend I have let myself have (without him being attached to one of my girlfriends, and therefore a friend by default) he's like my brother now... He has also become one of Mr. Loo's best friends too... The three of us have become so close that it has gotten awkward (not like you'd think, but everyone else thinks it is like that too)... That boy sends more mixed signals as a friend than any other boy I have been friends with (even more than my friend that I liked and thought liked me but shot me down and didn't tell me that it was because he was gay until like 4 years later lol)... I just had an extra ADD American Idol moment... I <3 Carly Smithson and David Archuleta... Jason Castro is not very bright but he is beautiful... moving on... Teh Bear makes me laugh and smile but he also makes me crazy! Tonight we were playing Settler's of Catan with a bunch of friends and since Mr. Loo (who is typically the object of his gaming rage) was not there playing, Teh Bear singled me out as the only target to destroy... It would be hilarious if he was not so damn evil about it! He was picking on me mercilessly in the game and in everything else he said to me or about me... I was really angry (ANGRY PANDA!!!) but I called him to tell him that he almost made me cry and to find out if he was really mad at me (since he denied my "No Hard Feelings" side hug when we left the house) and he acted like nothing was wrong (frustating!!!) men are more drama then women, I swear... Mr. Loo was sad that I didn't stay mad at Teh Bear for longer because it takes the heat off of him, lol, but it is easier to stay mad at someone you love a lot because they will always forgive you... Okay another Idol ADD... David Archuleta (my lil sweetie, I know I've become one of those pervy older women coveting a sweet youngin like him lol not really, but that's what I sounded like there) sang a Rebecca St. James song (You're the Voice)! That is so gutsy and awesome! Wow that really was a long ADD break (like a half hour)... Amanda Overmyer has Bride of Frankenstein hair... I played a really mean joke on my Mom for April Fools Day... I told her I was pregnant... She flipped out... It almost topped the April Fools when I was 19 and my boyfriend at the time conspired with me to fool my parents into thinking he was going to propose to me... I thought the taco meat she was chopping was going to be pulverized... I justified this years joke because I felt like God had played an April Fools joke on me... I really did think I was pregnant... I psyched myself into it because I was late and because my mother in-law had spent the whole weekend (I was with her on a woman's retreat with our church) praying for a granddaughter... Teh Bear called it, too, which was freaky... He told me that I was thinking about it too much and I was most likely not pregnant... Ten minutes later I started... lol... Mr. Loo and I decided last night that we were fine with a little one and that we may even try for one in the near future if we don't have one now... I really felt all day like I had no one to talk to... When I called one friend, she said she was almost outta minutes so she couldn't talk... then Teh Bear said I call him too much and use up his minutes... on the way to game night I called my mom who was half asleep and my brother sat next to her and did the Charlie Brown teacher voice and made my mom laugh so hard that she forgot I was on the phone with her, I got mad and hung up... then when I went to play Settler's I felt like Teh Bear was getting annoyed cuz I talk too much (he can't stand Pinkie because she talks too much and always wants to be in the center of the conversation/attention so I guess I could understand his frustration because she talked through all of the movie we watched the night before)... Then I came home and Mr. Loo (who hadn't gone to game night because he was tired and has to work earlyish tomorrow) was still awake (grrr....) and when I tried to talk to him he decided that it was now time to sleep... frustration... I really needed to ramble and rant here... I know no one reads this so I can be as angsty as I want neener neener....

Bento Club!!!

Pinkie and I are going to buy Bento supplies very soon and start a Bento club! Inspirations found here, updates to come soon!

Hina-no-Sekku

Happy Girl's Day everyone! Today is Japanese Girl's Day which is traditionally celebrated with decorating ceremonial dolls, hina-Ningyo and having a doll festival.
Me and Pinkie, my Hapa chicka, are celebrating by going out for sushi with some other girlfriends tonight. I would really like to buy a doll, but there are not many stores in the nearby area that would have them, neither are they in my price range. Instead I will reflect on our family doll, the only thing that we still have after the war. I don't know the whole story behind her, but I know that Great Grandma has had her in her house as long as my dad could remember. When Great Grandma passed, my father obtained her. She is dressed in beautiful garments and in a glass box. I spent hours as a little girl longing to take her out of her glass cage, but since Dad had asked me not to, I left her in and gazed through at every detail, many of which escape me now. I can't wait to have a look at her when I go visit home in two weeks.

On Broadway

I am so sad that RENT is coming to an end this year (in 137,173 minutes to be exact) on Broadway! I told my hubby that I really wanted to see it before it cosed on Broadway, he said "we'll see what we can do." I've been a RENThead since 2000 when my drama buddies introduced me to the wonders of the Original Broadway Cast (OBC) recording. I vowed not to go see it until I had seen it on Broadway, cuz that's the way you do it! I cheated a little by watching the movie. But that's just not the same. I really hope I can go! I also want to take my hubby to see Phantom (which I have never seen it either), because he asked his mom to take him for his 13th birthday and she told him that she wouldn't pay for something that would bore him, he has never forgiven her for it lol. He has not seen The Lion King either, and even my brothers have seen it and thought is was "Super sweet!" I want my Broadway experience, and soon... I really hope it can happen. On a lighter note, I am going to go see Wicked in LA next month! I am super stoked about that! Me and my mama (who is my show buddy) are going on March 18th at the Pantages Theatre (where I saw the Lion King). So exciting! This is what I wrote about it for a speech class (I am doing an informative speech about Wicked because I am using it as a listening event for the class as well).

I have always been a fan of musicals. I started listening to them in the form of Disney movies (The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, and the writer Steven Schwartz’ Pocahontas) compulsively and memorizing the lyrics and moves so I could “perform” them on the playground with my friends. In middle school, I was really introduced to stage acting with William Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (which has a campy musical retelling in the 2001 movie “Get Over It” starring Kirsten Dunst – I also watched this compulsively). In High School, I worked my way up the social ladder that was our drama department; starting as a backstage hand, or cockroach, then understudy, then finally getting on stage my senior year. All the years of being involved exposed me to many shows through our director, but mostly through the other students. I was introduced to RENT, which star’s Wicked’s OBC Elphaba, Idina Menzel, when I was a sophomore in 2000. I fell in love with her big voice, I even used one of her songs as an audition piece (no one told me that using RENT for auditions is a big no no in the biz until it was too late, no wonder I never made lead). I picked up Gregory Maguire’s novel shortly after it hit the shelves and was torn in my feelings about it since I had read all of the original OZ books, by Frank L. Baum as a child, it won me over eventually. One of my students when I was an intern in 2003 begged the musical director to send her sheet music to “Popular” after seeing it with her parents the previous month in New York, he surprisingly obliged and I have it in my music portfolio. She performed it for her 8^th grade Musical Review. Last spring, my roommate took our mutual best friend with her to New York (oh was I mad, but I couldn’t afford to go with them because I was getting married a few months later) and they saw Wicked. They were kind enough to bring me back the soundtrack and a poster from New York. I have been listening to it since and can’t wait to see it with my mom next month! My mom (who lives in LA) is taking me as a 24^th birthday present, we love going to Broadway shows together. We have seen Beauty and the Beast, Swing!, Mamma Mia!, and The Lion King together all in LA.

Crazy Crazy Crazy

So after a drama filled weekend involving the military police, the local Sheriff's and a .45 colt, Chinchie and her boyfriend, the Schwartz, are temporarily living in my apartment. He is really the one who needs a place to stay, but since she is my pal, I have no prob letting her stay too. At the moment, since he is still in the job hunting process, he is paying us in free weight training (we have to get a gym membership before it can really get down to business). That is why I call him the Schwartz. It's fun having more people here, but we are trying to keep it from my mother in-law because we know she would really not approve. I have them in the living room, but hopefully I will be able to clear enough room for them in the second bedroom which is currently piled with loads of stuff that we need to sort through and our cat box (stinky pew). That is my project for the week. Pray for us!