So I ended up quitting my job at Bath and Body Works the day after I posted about my tiff with the sales lead... She and I probably could have resolved things but it was the Manager's lack of mediation that really got to me... I never started working with Grace, there was a hiring mix up and they over hired, since I forgot to follow up (surprise surprise) I missed out... I ended up with a job that Grace's dad set me up with doing "In Home Supportive Services" for a 37 year old lady named Mel with Systemic Lupus among other chronic conditions... It works well for me since the schedule is so flexible, I was only supposed to have like 10-15 hours a week and I was going to try to pick up a Respite job for one of the families at my church (I have experience working with kids with Autism and other special needs, so it is nice to be able to lend a hand where I can, but not something I can do full time anymore), but the week I started the other girl who was working for Mel dramatically quit... So now I work about 30 hours a week at all hours, which is okay, but now that school has begun I need help... The last set of classes that I was taking (when I started this blog in February) all got dropped because I got overwhelmed... I didn't transfer and got myself on Academic Probation... I had to go to a counselor and make an Ed-Plan that re-evaluated my goals... If all goes well, I will complete the 2 classes I signed up for this semester and complete 2 next semester and get my AA out of the way... I also need to get my FAFSA done in time for next year... Maybe if I figure out what I really want to do (Mike, my ADD mentor, told me I am too ADD to teach without taking meds so I have kind of lost some hope for that prospect) I will transfer next fall... At this point I am just discouraged and don't really care much about school... Maybe Mel is right, maybe I need to start taking meds again (no matter how off they make me feel) so I can get this stuff done... I don't even know what it is I want to do anymore... I really want to be a mom and a good wife... That is my ultimate goal right now and all I seem to care about... However, I can't seem to see the reality in that if I can't get my act together... At the moment I have a pile of dishes 2 WEEKS old that I am having trouble facing (they are the worse kind too - covered in nasty oily frosting from my cake decorating class that I loved but nearly gave up on as well because it was so time consuming) and clean laundry piled on the couch waiting to be put away, along with all sorts of other clutter that is keeping me from having a clean organized house... Everytime my house (which is typically a reflection of the way I feel inside at the time) gets like this, I retreat into World of Warcraft or a TV series or work and avoid it until Toby (or Mr. Loo - I have decided to give up the nicknames) freaks out and goes into ubercleaning mode till he is exauhsted and in a bad mood (have I mentioned he is on his feet 40 hours a week at work?)... Toby and I have been playing a lot (and I mean a lot) of WoW lately... And to make it worse, we play at our friend Jerrod's house, which means we are never home... We have gone straight over to Jerrod's after work/school for the last 3 or 4 days in a row, not getting home until midnight or later and all we do is play WoW... Our other newly-wed friends Josh and Kelly have been hanging out at Jer's playing WoW everynight too, but at least they chose to spend time together at home tonight (they logged in aroud 9pm though)... I feel like thing are unraveling... The house hunt is slow going (even though we are now pre-approved)... We really need to find one soon if we want to be able to rent a room to Josh and Kelly once their lease is up in October... I also feel like we are making a lot of plans without talking to God about them first... That is probably why things aren't going super well... We are going to a Family Life confrence in November (my mom said it saved her marraige before she and my dad even knew there was a problem) and I am hoping to do a short study from FamilyLife before the confrence with the 3 other newly wed couples in our church and any other married couples who would like to join us... It would help us a lot to get back in tune with our Father!
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3 weeks ago
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Hey Alena, sounds like a rough week! If we were closer I'd make it an excuse to take you to Leatherbys. Hang in there.
The daily stuff like dishes and laundry are so much harder than people think. There's just no glory in them, but they still have to be done! But I once heard someone say that the hardest part of doing the dishes is turning on the faucet.
It's so true. Once we just decide IT'S TIME, most jobs can get done in less than half an hour. I'll be thinking of you two and keeping you in my prayers.
Love,
Faith
Thanks Faith... Reading your blog has been encouraging to me (and made me feel a little silly at the same time, if you can do it with 5 boys, I should be able to do it with a husband and 2 cats)... I am working on getting my ADD under control (without meds if possible) but more than that I am trying not to use it as an excuse not to do the things I need to do... I think I need to take Teresa up on her offer to help me get the place de-cluttered (very humbling) and then just work on scheduling my cleaning time better... Thanks for reading and commenting, you are the irst person that I know in real life to read my blog lol!
Aww Alena, I was overwhelmed with cleaning before I had kids. Then when Dan was on the way, I figured out how to keep things decent. Then after he came I was overwhelmed with how to handle one child AND cleaning. Figured out how to make THAT work, then Noah came and I got swamped again.
Point is, life takes adjusting. There's always a way to make things work for where you're at. It takes a while sometimes, and I've ended up letting some of my standards drop (I mop a lot less now). :)
Hang in there. Routine has always helped on this end. When I'm overwhelmed by mess it helps to just pick one thing at a time and decide on a time of day that it will ALWAYS get done and work on that till it's a habit. Then add another until the house feels less like a pit. You could always try posting pictures once it's clean as a motivation .... ! :)
But especially with children it seems like so much of staying sane is focusing on "How can I make this work". And in my case, not always "Whether this is fun each and every moment". Bathrooms with this many boys have to be cleaned everyday, and ain't no way to make that a fun. Except maybe by thinking of the alternative. (And working on passing on THAT nasty baton to Dan and Noah.)
I am quickly finding out that life takes adjusting. I did get my apartment (mostly) clean with Toby and Teresa's help last weekend and I am trying really hard to keep it clean. I find that the main problem is that I am not home most of the time and so when I am I want to relax, not clean :-P. I am working on it though :). Thanks for your comment again :) It makes me smile to know I can be friends with you even though you are pretty far away and busy with so many little ones :).
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